Is It Ever Too Late To Find Love?

“When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

– Nora Ephron

In the past month, I’ve been invited to three weddings. My Facebook feed is filled with announcements of engagements and wedding photos of beaming couples.

And they’re not all young.

2022 is turning out to be the Year of the Wedding. More couples are expected to getting hitched than since 1984. According to some reports , an estimated 2.5 million U.S. couples will marry in 2022. The pandemic is certainly a big factor behind the stats.

Credit: Thomas William


As a writer, I’m drawn to love stories. Fiction and fact. Big and small. I’m fascinated by beginnings and wonder in what ways a couple’s origin story might influence subsequent chapters.

Writer-once-upon-a-time

Credit: Jeremy Bishop

I like to ask long-time married friends how they met their spouse. Do they remember their first kiss.? (Surprisingly, not everyone does!)

My mother still loves to retell the story of her starstruck blind date with my dad, and their first kiss on a carriage around Central Park. 

There are the “I knew the moment I saw her” stories.

And the quieter stories of sparks that developed over time.

There are couples who didn’t seem to click at first and then, like defogging a mirror, a clearer vision appeared–a common plot of Hollywood rom-coms.

Then there are the stories of those who met much later in life, each person carrying long histories the other had no part of.

Novels I’ve enjoyed with such themes are Meet Me At The Museum by Anne Youngson and Mr. Pettigrew’s Last Stand by Helen Simonson

Credit: Rusy Watson

When you can’t take anymore depressing news headlines, I suggest turning to the weekly Vows section of the New York Times.

There you will find fascinating and diverse true love stories (beginnings only, of course) complete with photos, sure to bring a smile. Profiles of love after great loss, through illness, serendipity, and against all odds–as the saying goes.

Some of my favorites Vows stories are of those who meet late in life-a testament that it’s never too late to find true love.

Two octogenarians marry but decide to live “apart together ”. 

Credit: China Rocha

Folk singer Arlo Guthrie and Marti Ladd’s 20 year friendship culminated in a 2021 wedding.

Uplifting stories, uplift us. Stories of love and new beginnings inspire hope.

Author Joyce Maynard has published essays about her late-life love. After divorcing in her mid-thirties, she spent the next 24 years successful in her writing career but failing at relationships. About to give up after another dud date , she met Jim who became her husband and “true partner” at age 59. Sadly, Jim died of pancreatic cancer barely 3 years later. The experience inspired Joyce’s 2017 memoir, The Best of Us.

Joyce & I at Wellesley Books

Finding love again after loss, whether from divorce or death, can seem insurmountable. Yet people do. Their broken heart opens, making space for a new beloved while still carrying the memory of the other. I’ve witnessed this beautiful and bittersweet transformation among friends and family members.

Dr. Helen Fisher is a biological anthropologist who has done extensive research and writing on the nature of love.

“Romantic love is primordial, adaptable, and eternal.  It’s a basic brain system that, like a sleeping cat, can become awakened anytime in your life . Being in love beyond one’s mating years give you energy, well-being, motivation, and focus.”

What we think of as inevitable phases of love (sex drive, romance, deep attachment), Fisher thinks of as brain systems that can occur in any order. More surprisingly, she concludes that they do not have to disappear in longterm partnerships.

Fisher’s brain imaging studies show that some couples continue to experience all three phases well into their later years. Her studies in this area are intriguing.

“You can be in intensely in love at 22 as you can at 92.”

Helen Fisher, Ph.D
Credit: Ellie Cooper

Interesting to note: Dr. Fisher got married for the first time at 75 (!) and she and her husband live in separate households in the same city. That tidbit definitely sparked my curiosity.

So, don’t give up if love is what you are still seeking.

It’s easy to become discouraged. But no matter how long it takes, it only takes One to begin a new story. 

Credit: Julie Kerner
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Author: EvelynKrieger

I'm a people watcher and word crafter, author of fiction and essays. I also blog on living the creative life during hard times. When not writing, I work as a private educational consultant. Special interests: dance, the moon, astronauts, beaches, poetry, staying alive.

34 thoughts on “Is It Ever Too Late To Find Love?”

      1. No increase in weddings/ engagements in my circle. What I do notice is couples investing more in spending quality time with each other; looking for other (creative) ways to connect. I love that. I also love weddings. Making it a goal to attend at least one this year.

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      1. Some of it was funny. What you said about all these weddings made me chuckle-that there are so many getting married. One was endearing about Joyce Maynard and how she, after finding “the one”, had to cope with her husband dying. And the other interesting one about the two octogenarians who decided to “live apart together”. In some cases that might actually work best!
        I haven’t read any of Helen Fisher’s work. In contrary to most, I am not much of a reader. But I shall check her out. Your post got me interested. I do believe that line that you can be intensively in love at 22 as you can at 92 to be true. Good post! Thank you 😊

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        1. Thanks. I always appreciate knowing what resonates with my readers. You’ll be happy to know that Dr. Fisher has several great TED Talks and interviews of podcasts–no reading needed! I’ve worked with Joyce Maynard in her essay workshops. Her love story, while tragic, has many silver linings for her growth as a person who now knows what it means to have a BE a “true partner”. I also think it can teach us to seize the moment and say yes today.
          Tomorrow is never guaranteed.

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  4. My sister was a guest to three weddings over the last two months (her more or less close friends), so it may be a trend here as well. Then, given she and her friends are around 30 – that’s usually the wedding age for women.
    My grandma’s brother lost his wife to cancer in their early 60s. After some time alone, he started dating a widow – and while he doesn’t want to marry her on the grounds that “marriage is for young people”, their relationship is already lasting around a decade.

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    1. Yes, the wedding trend probably does center more around the average age of marriage now. Thank you for sharing the story of your grandma’s brother. We had a similar experience in our family that involved extended grief but the situation is looking better these days. I’ve also been reading several articles about the “trend” of older couples deciding to partner without marriage AND those who marry but retain separate households. I can see some of the appeal and pragmatics to this arrangement. Thanks for visiting, Tomas.

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  5. I haven’t been to a wedding in quite a few years, and that’s fine by me as my Pandemic Munchie Habits keep me from fitting into my suit.

    Seriously, though, this was a great post. It spurred me to reflect on the first time I met Ellen, 27 years ago (!), when we were both broke and working for The Princeton Review.

    Excuse me. But I gotta go find her and give her a kiss.

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  6. Divorced since 1984. 73 years old now and fairly resolved to the fact that romance is not in the cards. Besides, I’m not interested in being saddled with someone else’s baggage nor would I want to burden anyone with mine. I can love my children and grandchildren a be content with little things I enjoy.

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    1. So, you’re a long time single, Carl, who seems to be happy with that, but life has a way of surprising you, especially when you’re NOT looking. That’s been my experience. As long as you have loving relationships, of any kind, life can be good. Keep your heart open. Thanks for visiting.

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    1. Mary, thank you so much for sharing y our beautiful story which has elements not only of finding love later in life but of my most recent post, “What Are The Odds?” You clearly belong to the camp that sees Divine intervention in such stories. I am happy for you. I am sure your story will inspire others. It certainly touched me. God bless you!

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  8. I just had a conversation with another blogger about love stories. I’ve tried to sit and write mine more times than I can count but nothing I say seems to do it justice. Loved this beautifully uplifting post. It’s never too late to find love is a stunning thought

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    1. Thanks, LaShelle. It sounds as if your love story is “out of this world”? If so, lucky for you. Here’s an idea: rather than trying to write the whole story, see if you can capture a moment in time, what author Joyce Maynard terms “the Container Essay.” Some of the best Modern Love columns achieve this. Thanks, for visiting!

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